The pain has subsided for the most part by now. The worst of the recovery is over. Now it's time to rebuild. It's incredible how quickly muscular atrophy happens. Two weeks of putting no weight on my leg, and it is already significantly smaller than my other leg.
I've had a couple PT appointments since surgery (which was a week and a half ago at the time of writing this) and I'm already starting to see some improvements. When I first started some exercises, I could barely move my leg. Straight leg raises were out of the question. I would stare at my leg and literally could not figure out how to get it to move it. Its a super weird feeling to be trying so hard to move a limb that you've been able to move your whole life, only to get no response back from it.
I managed to do a successful leg raise at my post-op appointment. It took a good 20 seconds to get all the muscles engaged, but once they were firing my leg went up! Since then things have only gotten better. Swelling has gone down, range in motion in the knee is increasing, and I'm gaining some strength back. While my leg is much smaller than it was before, I now have regained some of the definition in the thigh muscles and they don't feel like jello when I poke them anymore. Now it's more like a raw chicken breast. Improvements!
I'm reintegrated back into my normal life. I've moved back into my house in Oakland, going back to classes, and generally trying to lead a normal life again. While I was never particularly bad with the crutches to begin with, I'm definitely getting better at getting around on them. Stairs are no longer a daunting task, and my ability to use my crutches as a pair of giant chopsticks to reach things from across the room is really coming along. I managed to hook a hoodie from like 10 feet away the other day, it was pretty sweet.
The toughest part is definitely getting to classes. Pitt offers a disability shuttle to help get around, but it's only sort of helpful. I have it scheduled to pick me up on Tuesdays and Thursdays from my house to drop me off on the other side of campus for class, and it'll pick me up and the end of that class and drop me off at the Cathedral where my next class is. The problem is that I then have 15 minutes after my class in Cathy to hustle over a couple blocks to my next class, and while its usually only a 4-5 minute walk, that distance is tough on crutches. I managed to make it to class with 1 minute to spare on my first attempt, but it was not easy.
Even worse is my Monday/Wednesday class in the Cathedral. I couldn't get the shuttle to pick me up on those days, so I have to crutch the half mile (I looked up the distance on Google Maps) to class. Luckily it's my only class of the day, and it's at 3pm, so I just leave around noon and go about half way before I take a break and just do some work in Posvar for a few hours before I finish the trip. Even still it is a hell of a workout, and I think I'll have to start bringing an extra shirt to change into when I get to class because I've been sweating through whatever I'm wearing the last couple times I've made the trip.
Overall things have gone pretty well, all things considered. The fact that I still am relatively immobile (or at least the fact that moving is still definitely a hassle) has given me plenty of time to catch up on work. I'm still figuring out the best strategy for accomplishing some stuff, like grocery shopping and laundry, but I've had so many people offer to help me with anything that I'm not too worried about it.
I actually want to talk about that for a little bit too. All the support I've gotten so far has been incredible. So many different people from different parts of my life have reached out. Old friends that I haven't talked to in a while to people that I barely know have sent me messages or told me in person that they are there to help. I got added to an ACL recovery support group that consists of Pittsburgh Ultimate community members who have gone through the same process, and they have been super helpful too. Not only have they given advice and answered any questions I've had, but they've also lent me my knee brace and cryo-cuff, which are both essential to the recovery process.
I've been really appreciative of all the support. An injury like this sucks, and it's nice to know I've got people out there ready to help. From the out of town friends reaching out to give their support, to the teammates and friends who stop by my house to give me some company while I binge watch March Madness, they have all made the recovery process much more manageable.
I know I still have a long road ahead of me, and I don't want to get too ahead of myself on knowing where I stand physically, but I know that with the continued support I'll be able to get through this just fine.
Thanks guys.
Wednesday, March 21, 2018
Monday, March 12, 2018
Surgery
I remember always having the thought that surgery was kind of cool. Sure it probably sucked, but now you're part of some special group of people with cool scars and some interesting story to tell.
Yeah, that was a stupid thought. This shit is not fun at all.
Almost exactly six days after the injury I was being carted off into the annals of UPMC Mercy to have my knee reconstructed. Dr. Lezniak, my surgeon, had strongly suggested that I get the surgery as soon as possible. My lateral meniscus was actually fully torn and had been folded over itself, causing it to be pinched by my leg. Due to this, I wasn't able to really bend/move my leg without a decent amount of pain, so he was concerned that the longer I wait for the surgery, the more my leg would deteriorate. If it had just been my ACL, I could have delayed the surgery until I was ready, but since I couldn't put any weight on my leg, I was scheduled for surgery the day after my initial appointment with Dr. Lezniak.
I'm now 3 days out of the operation and bored out of my mind. Most movement of the leg still causes a considerable amount of pain since the stitches are still in, so 90% of my days have been spent by me sitting in one place and moving as little as possible. March Madness has been keeping me somewhat sane, but there is only so much basketball I can watch before I lose my mind. My mom has also been taking incredible care of me, making me food, helping me move from one resting spot to the next, and whatever else I have asked her to do. I've never been one to ask for help, so I'm already exhausted of asking for help with the tiniest of favors. I can't even count how many times I've had my mom get up and walk across the room to grab me the remote, or my phone, or take the dishes from me. I know she doesn't mind, but it makes me feel incredibly useless.
I have a follow-up appointment later this week where they are planning on taking out the stitches, and I'm hoping after that I'll be in much better shape. As of now I'm doing some very basic exercises to mitigate the muscular dystrophy, but hopefully once the stitches come out I'll be able to kick it up a notch. I just want to be able to do basic tasks on my own again. The pain meds they gave me have made it hard to focus anything specific for an extended period of time, so I apologize if this post isn't my best writing. I'm slowly starting to wean off the medicine and hope that I shouldn't need it after the next couple of days.
Until then I'll just continue to sit in my living room, leg elevated and hip cramping. There isn't any basketball on for another day now since the bracket has finally been set, so I'll need to find some movies or something to pass the time. I just watched Boss Baby. It was pretty good.
Yeah, that was a stupid thought. This shit is not fun at all.
Almost exactly six days after the injury I was being carted off into the annals of UPMC Mercy to have my knee reconstructed. Dr. Lezniak, my surgeon, had strongly suggested that I get the surgery as soon as possible. My lateral meniscus was actually fully torn and had been folded over itself, causing it to be pinched by my leg. Due to this, I wasn't able to really bend/move my leg without a decent amount of pain, so he was concerned that the longer I wait for the surgery, the more my leg would deteriorate. If it had just been my ACL, I could have delayed the surgery until I was ready, but since I couldn't put any weight on my leg, I was scheduled for surgery the day after my initial appointment with Dr. Lezniak.
I'm now 3 days out of the operation and bored out of my mind. Most movement of the leg still causes a considerable amount of pain since the stitches are still in, so 90% of my days have been spent by me sitting in one place and moving as little as possible. March Madness has been keeping me somewhat sane, but there is only so much basketball I can watch before I lose my mind. My mom has also been taking incredible care of me, making me food, helping me move from one resting spot to the next, and whatever else I have asked her to do. I've never been one to ask for help, so I'm already exhausted of asking for help with the tiniest of favors. I can't even count how many times I've had my mom get up and walk across the room to grab me the remote, or my phone, or take the dishes from me. I know she doesn't mind, but it makes me feel incredibly useless.
I have a follow-up appointment later this week where they are planning on taking out the stitches, and I'm hoping after that I'll be in much better shape. As of now I'm doing some very basic exercises to mitigate the muscular dystrophy, but hopefully once the stitches come out I'll be able to kick it up a notch. I just want to be able to do basic tasks on my own again. The pain meds they gave me have made it hard to focus anything specific for an extended period of time, so I apologize if this post isn't my best writing. I'm slowly starting to wean off the medicine and hope that I shouldn't need it after the next couple of days.
Until then I'll just continue to sit in my living room, leg elevated and hip cramping. There isn't any basketball on for another day now since the bracket has finally been set, so I'll need to find some movies or something to pass the time. I just watched Boss Baby. It was pretty good.
Tuesday, March 6, 2018
The Injury
I've replayed the event in my head hundreds of times since it happened. I'm in the end zone, running to my left. The disc is thrown behind me, so in an attempt to make a play, I plant on my left leg to jump backward and grab the disc. My foot sticks in the ground, my knee twists, I feel some popping. The next thing I know I'm on the ground holding my knee, in the most pain I had ever been in. I knew instantly that it was dislocated. As the trainer, Ken, eased my hands off my leg and slowly straightened it out, I felt a couple thunks as it popped back in place. Ken proceeded to ask me a couple questions, seeing if I could feel certain pokes and prods, wondering if I could kick against his hand, wondering if I could put any weight on it. I had full feeling, but that was about it. They carried me off the field and loaded me into my dad's rental van and we set off to the hospital.
Fuck.
Things have been flying by since then. I decided it was in my best interest to skip out on the team spring break trip and instead fly back to Pittsburgh. Flying cross-country with a bum leg that I can't really move or bend without using my arms sure makes it tough to fit on a plane. I sat in an aisle seat so that I could stick my leg out, but I was afraid that someone would trip over me at some point so I managed to swing my leg under the seat in front of me. Six hours of flights and one aggressively cramped leg later, I landed in Pittsburgh at 9:00am Monday morning, where my mom picked me up. We headed home, ate some food, decompressed as much as I could, and then started calling doctors' offices to schedule an appointment as soon as possible. We managed to get one scheduled the same day at 2:00pm. The doc took some x-rays, poked and prodded some, and told me an MRI was definitely needed. No shit. I scheduled the appointment on the drive home for the following morning.
As my mom had to head to work, I recruited Cyd to help get me to Presby for my appointment. After she drove me there, I headed in and was quickly taken back to change for the MRI. Oh yeah, changing is really hard. Again, I can't really bend or move my leg, so taking off and putting on pants takes a lot of effort. The MRI operator found me sitting on the floor of the changing room slowly sliding the hospital pants on. He sat me down in a wheelchair and shuttled me off to the MRI. 30 minutes of laying motionless and its over. The operator tells me the doctor should receive the images later that afternoon so I could schedule the follow-up appointment for the following day. Cyd picks me back up and we head to her house to laze around. I schedule the appointment at there for noon on Wednesday.
At around 2:00pm Cyd drives me back to my mom's house where I start watching some of the Ultiworld filmed games from Stanford, because what else do I have to do? Halfway through watching the UNC vs. Oregon semi-finals game, I get a call from the doctor who is looking at my MRI results. He proceeds to tell me what I already basically knew. Everything is fucked. A torn ACL, a sprained PCL, a partially torn MCL, a complex tear in the medial meniscus, and a partial tear in the lateral meniscus. I don't even know what half of that shit is. He says I don't need the follow-up appointment on Wednesday, and instead says I'll be scheduled for an appointment with a surgeon on Thursday.
At the time of the call it had been a little over 72 hours since the injury. I had been so excited for Stanford. My 2nd year on the team, the first year as a starter. An O-line starter, at that. I played a whopping 2 points before it happened. The score was 2-3 in the first fucking game of the day. Now it'll be in the range of a year before I can get back on the field.
So now I'm just sitting here, leg elevated so that my knee is above my heart, wondering when the surgery will be. How much school will I miss? How am I going to get to class? When will I be able to walk?
I like to think I've been handling this pretty well. I had plenty of time to wallow during my flights back to Pittsburgh, and at this point I think I'm over the fact that I'm not going to be able to play this college or club season. Honestly, I'm a little surprised I'm not more upset. Anybody that knows me knows that ultimate is basically all I do outside of school. I guess it's still going to be all I do but in a much different capacity. I'll be taking on some sort of coaching role for Pitt, and we'll see what I do for the club season. I still plan on getting to the gym once I can physically get myself there and lifting what I can.
But for now I'll just be taking it day by day. Figuring out which of the hundred different positions I've tried putting my leg in is the most comfortable (none of them are). Hopefully the surgery is scheduled soon so that I can get on to the road to recovery as soon as possible.
Onwards.
Fuck.
Things have been flying by since then. I decided it was in my best interest to skip out on the team spring break trip and instead fly back to Pittsburgh. Flying cross-country with a bum leg that I can't really move or bend without using my arms sure makes it tough to fit on a plane. I sat in an aisle seat so that I could stick my leg out, but I was afraid that someone would trip over me at some point so I managed to swing my leg under the seat in front of me. Six hours of flights and one aggressively cramped leg later, I landed in Pittsburgh at 9:00am Monday morning, where my mom picked me up. We headed home, ate some food, decompressed as much as I could, and then started calling doctors' offices to schedule an appointment as soon as possible. We managed to get one scheduled the same day at 2:00pm. The doc took some x-rays, poked and prodded some, and told me an MRI was definitely needed. No shit. I scheduled the appointment on the drive home for the following morning.
As my mom had to head to work, I recruited Cyd to help get me to Presby for my appointment. After she drove me there, I headed in and was quickly taken back to change for the MRI. Oh yeah, changing is really hard. Again, I can't really bend or move my leg, so taking off and putting on pants takes a lot of effort. The MRI operator found me sitting on the floor of the changing room slowly sliding the hospital pants on. He sat me down in a wheelchair and shuttled me off to the MRI. 30 minutes of laying motionless and its over. The operator tells me the doctor should receive the images later that afternoon so I could schedule the follow-up appointment for the following day. Cyd picks me back up and we head to her house to laze around. I schedule the appointment at there for noon on Wednesday.
At around 2:00pm Cyd drives me back to my mom's house where I start watching some of the Ultiworld filmed games from Stanford, because what else do I have to do? Halfway through watching the UNC vs. Oregon semi-finals game, I get a call from the doctor who is looking at my MRI results. He proceeds to tell me what I already basically knew. Everything is fucked. A torn ACL, a sprained PCL, a partially torn MCL, a complex tear in the medial meniscus, and a partial tear in the lateral meniscus. I don't even know what half of that shit is. He says I don't need the follow-up appointment on Wednesday, and instead says I'll be scheduled for an appointment with a surgeon on Thursday.
At the time of the call it had been a little over 72 hours since the injury. I had been so excited for Stanford. My 2nd year on the team, the first year as a starter. An O-line starter, at that. I played a whopping 2 points before it happened. The score was 2-3 in the first fucking game of the day. Now it'll be in the range of a year before I can get back on the field.
So now I'm just sitting here, leg elevated so that my knee is above my heart, wondering when the surgery will be. How much school will I miss? How am I going to get to class? When will I be able to walk?
I like to think I've been handling this pretty well. I had plenty of time to wallow during my flights back to Pittsburgh, and at this point I think I'm over the fact that I'm not going to be able to play this college or club season. Honestly, I'm a little surprised I'm not more upset. Anybody that knows me knows that ultimate is basically all I do outside of school. I guess it's still going to be all I do but in a much different capacity. I'll be taking on some sort of coaching role for Pitt, and we'll see what I do for the club season. I still plan on getting to the gym once I can physically get myself there and lifting what I can.
But for now I'll just be taking it day by day. Figuring out which of the hundred different positions I've tried putting my leg in is the most comfortable (none of them are). Hopefully the surgery is scheduled soon so that I can get on to the road to recovery as soon as possible.
Onwards.
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